The Uzumaki Diary
by zfirze
Summary: The diary of the Great Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage. No peeping! - Yaoi, sasunaru -
1. Day One

i think i'm crazy, starting another story...haha! just to clear up some things, naruto already had a diary from long ago but these few pages are 'extracted' to tally with sasuke's, so yup...

oh right, this is in line with/side-fic of The Uchiha Journal, but it's not necessary to read that (:

disclaimer: i don't own Naruto

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Dear Diary,

ARGH!! Guess what?! Sai appeared suddenly today! Of all the days, he had to pick today when Sasuke and I were about to have lunch by ourselves! Can't he like interrupt tomorrow?!

No, wait. I might still be having lunch with Sasuke tomorrow... alright then, can he never interrupt? It's not a very big and difficult request right?

And and and! He just had to insult my dick's size when he appeared! Do you know how embarrassing that was? I thought I would die of shame, especially with Sasuke looking on with such disinterest.

What if Sasuke thought I was small??

...NOOOOO!!

I should find a way to prove to Sasuke that I'm not small!

Damn, that sounds perverted. Ero-sennin must be rubbing off me. Grrr, that pervert.

Anyway, I was turning red with anger and humiliation and I think Sasuke noticed. What if he realised that I like him??

Let's see, why is it bad that Sasuke knows that I like him. Number One, he might tease me endlessly. Number Two, he most probably is straight. Number Three, our friendship might be ruined. So no, nothing will destroy that. Not when I spent so much effort getting him back and we are now so much closer.

I lost my usual gusto with my ramen. Hmmm, I should make up for it tomorrow!

So Sai tagged along with me and Sasuke's training. But Sasuke went off by himself to do some target practice and I ended up having to spar with Sai. Infuriating! Sai kept making snide remarks here and there. I bet Sai knew that I like Sasuke and that he is purposely separating us.

Oh hell no. That better not be the case. Sai knowing... that would be the end of the world.

Sasuke stalked off after a while. I wonder what crawled up his ass. So I managed to somehow ditch Sai and ran after Sasuke.

It went downhill from there! How could I make such horrible ramen to serve to Sasuke?! He was right, the ramen I made really did suck.

Wait wait, let me backtrack. I managed to somehow invite him over for dinner and convince him to let me cook for him. So I took out the noodles which I had prepared this morning in anticipation for this. And then I hurriedly threw in the soup base, knowing that Sasuke would be really impatient.

I mean, that bastard would always have some mean remarks to say and he would always complain that I'm slow. Not that he would ever admit that he complains. But I swear, complaining is probably one of his strong traits. Always able to find fault with everything. Che.

Oh oh, this part is embarrassing. I boasted happily to him that my noodles were good. I mean, it was! When I tried cooking it the other time. Imagine my horror when I found out that it taste terrible. And there I was, hoping to awe him with my cooking skills. Damn.

So we ended up with instant ramen. Sigh.

Then he went back home. And I did nothing to stop him. I can't, right? I mean, if I were to suggest that he spend the night over, he might somehow conclude that I like him! And like I said, I can't let that happen!

If only he could suggest that... Hmmm, if I went over to his place, maybe he'll invite me to stay the night?

Alright! I'll trick him into that tomorrow! HAH!

So that's it for today. Too many excitements. Grr, Sai.

See you tomorrow!


	2. Day Two

Dear Diary,

I am so STUPID!! Idiotic! Or like how Sasuke loves to put it, a usuratonkachi! I can't believe I suggested going to the bath-house. With Sasuke! It was utterly humiliating and embarrassing!

So okay, we went into the bath-house and headed for the changing room. Then I suddenly remembered about Sai's teasing comments and Sasuke's indifference yesterday. Ohhh, I swear I was blushing like mad! I had to quickly grab a towel and ran into the showers, hoping that Sasuke wouldn't see anything.

Sasuke took a long while in following so I had some time to mull over my problems. What problems? Well, let's see. Problem Number One, why the hell did I suggest going to a bath-house?! It seemed too intimate, doesn't it?! Problem Number Two, how the heck am I going to hide lil' Naruto? After yesterday, it would be too upsetting to let Sasuke see. And Problem Number Three, how am I going to stop myself from reacting to Sasuke?!

Then he walked in. And oh my god, it was the sexiest sight I have ever seen. I had to duck my head back under the water to stop my thoughts from going astray.

And of all the nasty things to do, the bastard slapped the back of my head. Hard. I winced and turned to look at him, straining to stop myself from glancing downwards. He smacked me again. Of course I got mad after that and shoved him under the water. And hah! He gave a small yelp. It was probably one of the few unmanly sounds he had accidentally let out.

Of course, being the bastard he was, he totally hogged my shower and left me out in the dry cool air. Like I was going to let that happen. I pushed him out and somehow, it turned into a mini wrestling match for the shower. Stupid really, especially when there were so many other showers surrounding us.

But at the same time, it was quite cool. I mean, Sasuke didn't even tease me after our towels dropped off halfway through our fight for the shower head.

Oh right! Something good happened here! Guess what? Nah-uh, I'm not telling you! Wahaha!! Fear the great Uzumaki Naruto!

Alright alright, I give. Sasuke offered to scrub my back!

…what? It is a big deal okay.

Anyway, I was a little tense when he started. Y'know, like I was a little scared that somehow during the process I might jump him. Of course, once he started massaging, I kinda lost control of my muscles. And hell, I accidentally moaned.

It was utterly mortifying and I was panicking! I mean, who the hell moan during an innocent back scrub by your best friend?! I was half-afraid that he would realise and would give me the disgusted look.

Thank goodness though. He just teased me a little about me enjoying his massaging skills. To say I was relieved is a total understatement. I yelled at him a little for being so egoistic.

Then he dipped the wet cloth between my ass cheeks.

You have no idea how strong my urge to jump him right there and then was. I didn't even dare to move a muscle, scared that my body would not listen to me and somehow, do something that I may come to regret.

And he just laughed. Of course, it was more like a smirk than anything else but by Sasuke's standard, that almost equals full-on laughter. I had to forcefully remind myself that Sasuke is straight. Or asexual. Otherwise, it would seem too much like flirting and Sasuke does not flirt. Definitely not with me.

Luckily, he turned around and walked to the hot springs area. Well actually, it's not really a good thing. I mean, I have a perfect view of that little ass, rocking and swaying right in front of me. It was insane! It was crazy! It was too much teasing in one day that I could handle!

So anyway, in the hot springs, I decided to attempt asking Sasuke for his opinion about gay couples in general. And I brought up Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei. And weird, Sasuke seemed to turn contemplative here. I would scarcely be surprised if he hadn't heard a word I said.

After we finished up at the hot springs, we left the place. And I did something stupid again! Argh! How many stupid things am I going to do in a day?!

What did I do? I ran off, that's what.

I swore, Sasuke seemed to be about to ask me to stay over at his place. But with all the one-sided-perceived-only-by-me teasing and flirting, I don't think I could have lasted the night if I was alone with him. All alone in a room with a bed and stuff.

I'm such a coward, damnit.

Stupid stupid Naruto!


	3. Day Three

Dear Diary,

Please cure me of my hangover now.

My head hurts and I can't even think straight now. You should be glad of the honor I am bestowing on you for still writing an entry for today. And putting lots of effort to make sure that I'm making sense and the words are in a straight line.

Are you a magic book? I need help. I think the ground is shaking. Am I going mad?

Anyway, just got back from Sakura-chan's place. She and Fuzzy-brows moved in together. That is so cool isn't it? Ouch, if only my head would stop spinning. I'm sure I would be able to provide a more detailed and interesting entry.

Well, technically it's the next day and I'm already one day late in writing this entry but hey! It's super early now, like in the middle of the night early. My effort should count right?

Sai brought me home. Better than that ungrateful stuck-up stupid bastardly bastard. Oh, bastardly bastard rhymes. Heh, am I even making sense?

I kissed him today, you know. Big mistake, you should have seen his expression. He looked so disgusted. Or horrified. I can't really tell, not when he created so many clones of himself and had them moving so quickly in front of me.

Luckily the Great Uzumaki Naruto thought up of a very good plan to cover up his mistake. Works like wonder too. Hmmm, this reminds me of Ino talking about the herbal diet tea she was drinking.

Oh wait, I'm digressing. Wow, I can still use _big_ words. Beat that, teme.

Er, anyway, I covered up my mistake by doing the same thing to everyone. Am I smart or what? At least in the morning I could still put it off as some drunken act if Sasuke ask. Like I saw a whole lot of pretty girls in the room and just wanted to kiss them. Hahaha, imagine me kissing girls.

Anyway, what I want to say is that at some angle Sasuke does look like a girl. Don't tell him, but I know for sure that Sasuke is secretly proud of looking feminine. At least, don't tell him that I know that he knows that he thinks that people think he looks pretty. Wait, no it should be I know that he thinks that he knows that people know…

…whatever, I'm getting confused.

Karin was latching onto Sasuke the whole night, you know. I saw them from where I was at Sakura-chan's kitchen counter. Sasuke didn't even shake her off like he normally does. So it's his entire fault that I drank so much until I couldn't even stand straight or think rationally. Oh look, big words again! It's an Uzumaki talent.

And it's his fault as well for pulling on my sleeve so hard and so quickly. He just makes my un-thinking-ness worse. Is there even such a word? Heh.

So if he never made me drink so much, never pulled me so hard, I wouldn't have kissed him. See! It's all Sasuke-teme's fault!

Oh by the way, his cheeks were really warm and smooth and soft and… oops, I started drooling and doodling a little. Hahaha.

I think he was angry though. He didn't even bring me back home like he promised. The prick. Luckily Sai is so nice.

You know, Sai does look a little like Sasuke. If you lengthen his hair, change his eyebrows, make his eyes narrower, his eyes darker, the nose smaller, the lips redder, the skin lighter and softer, the chin sharper, the face thinner and… wow, the list can go on and on. So you see my point? They're nearly the same. And their characters too. Sai is awkward in expressing himself and Sasuke is awkward in socialising. They are just so similar. Especially the awkward part. Hah! Uzumaki Naruto is never awkward.

But I like Sasuke better. His smile is really nice, when he does smile that is. Most of the time he just smirk, the arrogant bastard.

Oh no, I sound like a blabbering fool when I'm drunk.

I wished Sasuke was the one who had brought me home. I wonder why he didn't.

Hmmm, I remembered going around kissing everyone and Sasuke wasn't there when I turned around. Maybe he got sick of waiting for me? I should apologise to him tomorrow, for making him wait.

But hey! It's just a few seconds, he shouldn't have walked off without me.

…and I'm not pouting.

I'm going to sleep off this hangover. Maybe the room would stop spinning. Hopefully I didn't write rubbish in here or make it unreadable. If it's not sticking onto the line… well, it could be an Uzumaki drunk edition handwriting. Or something.

Most likely something.

My bed looks nice.


	4. Day Four

Dear Diary,

Sasuke seems to be mad with me today… Even after I apologized and everything… Look, I'll explain it to you, do you think you can help me?

Woke with a headache and I almost, almost couldn't get up from the bed. Luckily Sakura-chan came with some hangover cure. But not before screaming at me and hitting me on my head a few times. I think my head almost exploded.

Then I sped off to the Uchiha compound immediately but Sasuke was already gone. Well, it was nearly noon so it wasn't too surprising. And since I had the intention to make everything up with Sasuke, I spent my morning going around Konoha looking for him.

Somehow, I managed to find him in the Konoha Academy, which by the way, was really shocking since Sasuke always called those kids brats. Well, I tried to pretend that nothing had happened last night and pounced on him as a greeting.

He ignored me, which again, was not surprising. I listened to him lecture those kids before dragging him for lunch. And it was here that I could tell he was really angry at me.

Instead of just pulling me along like he usually does, he shoved my hands off his shoulder before turning completely around. I had to run to catch up with him and even then, I didn't dare to shout at him for ignoring me.

We entered this quiet restaurant that I never really tried before. Sasuke looked at his menu while the waitress on duty gave me a dirty look which was probably because I was with Sasuke. So I ordered a fruit juice in an attempt to help calm my nerves and I ended up playing with the straw throughout lunch.

It was really awkward. I felt like I was intruding. On what, I had no idea.

I managed to drag him off to one of the training ground before sitting him down and started explaining myself. He didn't seem interested in what I had to say though and I was nearing desperation by the time I ended my apology. I think he is still disgusted by me kissing him yesterday. I even tried to play it off like me mistaking him for someone else.

Sasuke is straight. That's the only reason I can think of for him being like this. Or maybe he's just disgusted with me in general.

He relented eventually and grudgingly invited me over for dinner. I really thought he had forgiven me so I attempted to joke around a little. And for all that, I got a chopping board to my head.

I retreated very quickly after dinner. It was obvious he didn't want me there. He didn't even try to make conversation at all during the meal. Of course, I know he doesn't talk much usually but at least, he would occasionally talk a little more about his day, especially his mission today seemed to be one of the types he actually hates. I was expecting him to gripe about the kids he had to take this morning.

Cleaned up my apartment when I reached home. I still had not gotten rid of the habit of cleaning whenever I'm upset. Truthfully, I was hoping that Sasuke would somehow turn up and stop acting like the jackass he is now. It's only one small kiss on the cheeks!

So I spent the whole night thinking, confused about Sasuke's actions. Really really wished that I could just ask him straight out how he felt about it but then again, who goes around kissing their male best friend? It's not like I could go up to him and say, "Hey, great kiss last night, did you like it?". It sounds dumb even in my head.

Does Sasuke really hate me? Does this really mean that I don't have a chance at all?

I honestly thought that since Sasuke does not pay much attention to all the girls who throw themselves at him, maybe he just has not decided which…gender he likes. Or maybe he just hasn't met the one he likes.

…if so, then he had already known me for so long. And knowing Sasuke, if he does like me at all in that sense, he would have made a move long ago…

Sigh. This entry is depressing. I don't sound like my usual cheery self at all.

I wonder if Sasuke even noticed.

Can't face him this way. I need to get over this somehow or rather. After all, this wouldn't be the first time that my happy front was broken and it wouldn't be the first time that I had to patch it up myself. Hopefully, no one would realise this.

I…should probably head over to Suna tomorrow. Haven't seen Gaara for a long while, he'll be a good distraction. Baa-chan should have no trouble with me going over, seeing that it was fairly peaceful and technically speaking, I'm still a genin. So no major mission will be assigned to me anyway.

Alright, Suna it is then.

Maybe, just maybe, if I disappeared from Sasuke's side for a day, he'll miss me? I really hope so.

See you tomorrow.


	5. Day Five

Dear Diary,

WE MADE UP! Me and Sasuke made up! Yay! I'm grinning like an idiot now, hehe!

Hmmm, I should properly explain, especially after that depressing entry yesterday. Which by the way, I'm sorry for worrying you but I'm glad you understood me so well.

So somehow, I managed to wake up early enough and left for Suna. Baa-chan made a fuss when I woke her up from her drunken stupor, I wonder if she even sleeps at her home or is her office her home?

…hell no. I'm so not going to stay in the office when I'm the Hokage. And I'll definitely become the Rokudaime, never doubt me!

Er, okay, wrong topic.

Anyway, I managed to arrive in Suna before lunch and met Gaara. Strangely, Gaara met me at the gate and I was somewhat surprised since I didn't know how Gaara knew I was coming. It was only after some coaxing did I managed to extract an answer from him. Apparently Baa-chan sent a hawk ahead.

I am not a kid! Why must she send a hawk to inform Gaara?! And doesn't she need the hawk for some other important jounin?!

I calmed down when Gaara told me that I was only a postscript on the note sent. Gee, makes me feel much better.

Gaara is a very good listener! He never interrupted during my rant, not once! Of course in my long long speech, I never mentioned Sasuke's name but Gaara seems to understand what was happening. At least, I think I never mentioned his name.

Gaara is so cool. Dreamy sigh here.

Heh, I wonder if Sasuke will ever get jealous of Gaara. Strange, Sasuke and Gaara have always been very hostile to each other, though I'm not too sure what is going on between them exactly. I think their animosity just build and build from waaaaaay back.

If I ever mentioned something bad about Gaara to Sasuke, he'll give me the typical 'hn' with maybe a slight hint of smugness. Not too sure where his smug is coming from. And if I talk badly about Sasuke to Gaara, Gaara will give me this smothering look. To be honest, it actually looks a little murderous. To me though, it feels like Sasuke's value in Gaara's eyes is being lowered. Does that even make sense?

Argh, I sound too proud of Sasuke. Like the proud parent of a child not wanting others to look down on him. What the hell.

Me and Gaara had a nice lunch together. Didn't manage to really talk to Temari and Kankuro though, only managed to wave to them when we stopped at Gaara's office. Temari was scowling very badly from behind the desk and Kankuro seemed to be holding her back since she looked like she wanted to kill someone.

Temari. Desk job. Temari. Desk job. Really, the image totally does not fit. Why did she volunteer herself for doing paperwork? Really strange now that I actually think it through. Could she have been coerce by Gaa – nah, can't be. I'm thinking too much.

Hmmm, but say, don't Gaara also have some random duties as Kazekage? Why does he seem to always have time for other things but Baa-chan is always so busy?

Well, Baa-chan being perpetually drunk could be one factor. Oh and maybe sneaking off to gamble. But still, that's only two. Hmmm, Gaara can't be shirking his responsibilities…right? He doesn't even seem to be the sort who slacks off.

Anyway, we walked around after lunch and Gaara seemed jittery. Well, jittery as in he jumped slightly higher than usual when someone surprised him. I thought it was my imagination at first. Then I remembered who was coming over after lunch. Hee.

Gaara and Neji sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Teased him for a short while and it was really funny! Especially the part where I was watching his ears turn redder as his face turn paler. Of course I had to use some tact when I'm teasing, don't want to scare him off.

See, Uzumaki Naruto does have tact. Who's the idiot who said I don't have any? Let's see, I think Sasuke has mentioned it once. Hah! Sasuke is an idiot!

I left Gaara at the gate after we circled the market once. Really don't fancy being such a bright light bulb when Neji arrives. I am such a good friend aren't I? Giving them their privacy.

So I retreated back to the temporary room that I always stayed in when I came over to Suna. It had a very nice view of the village. Suna was pretty cool. Not as much as Konoha with all the greeneries and the mountain but enough for me to actually enjoy my stay.

And I'm glad I actually made a trip to Suna. It was really refreshing and helped me clear my thoughts. Made me realise how stupid I was yesterday.

Real lucky that I actually had that short time to clear my head, seeing that I met Sasuke when I went back to find Gaara.

It was really shocking! I never did expect to see Sasuke in Suna since I know he hates the sand. Something along the line of the sand getting stuck in his hair, clothes and shoes. That vain prick.

Anyway, it turned out that Sasuke had tagged along with Neji. I really wonder how their journey was like. Must have been real quiet since neither actually strikes me as those chatty types.

Like me. Or Kiba. Whose, incidentally, chattiness actually helped him in getting a girl. That mutt.

Oh right, meeting Sasuke in Suna. Er, it was pretty awkward at first since I didn't really know what to talk about.

Somehow, we ended up fighting. And just to make sure you, my dear beloved lovely book who listens to my complaints every day, know the truth and everything, I would just like to say that HE STARTED IT!

Really! I'm not lying! He was the one who provoked me!

Called him a bunch of names during the fight, then I found it to be such a waste that I used up all those words which I had painstakingly thought of at one go. Maybe I should have actually saved a few for the next round.

And who said violence can't solve any problem? Look, me and Sasuke are a very fine example that it works! We were on better terms after that and Sasuke even smiled at me. Insert dreamy sigh.

Please note that this dreamy sigh is so much more dreamier than the one I had for Gaara. No offence to Gaara but Sasuke wins hands down. Cross my heart and… eh, I forgot the phrase. Something along the line of death which actually isn't too auspicious in our line of work but never mind. Ignore my ramble please.

Gaara and Neji sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Haha, sorry, couldn't resist. I keep thinking of that whenever I think of the two of them. Neji stayed in Suna for the night while me and Sasuke decided to head back to Konoha.

Really funny, the way that the two of them were looking at each other. I don't think they can be any more obvious. I was snickering throughout the short 'farewell' they gave to us.

Have to stop myself from singing that song to myself. It's getting stuck there.


	6. Day Six

Dear Diary,

My stomach hurts. Help…

Knew it, knew it, knew it! Ramen other than those from Ichiraku's upset my stomach. The pain! Shouldn't have suggested eating that lousy, evil ramen for lunch.

Damn Sasuke for not stopping me.

Okay, so why am I eating ramen from some other random places? Of course that's because I'm not in Konoha to enjoy the best ramen in the world!

Hehe, would you like to guess why I am not in Konoha? No no, it's not a D-rank mission of pulling water buffaloes across the river and getting trapped in the small field when it rained and flood, that was the last time. It's different this round. Way different.

Are you ready for the big secret?

I'm on a B-rank mission!

Sasuke hit me and told me to stop grinning like an idiot when Baa-chan gave it to us. Well, since when had I ever listened to that bastard? I ignored him in favour of listening to Baa-chan's instructions. My first B-rank, I am so not going to mess it up!

Then oh, the sweetness! We were given jounin uniforms! Never in my life I would thought that I will ever be able to hold one, much less wear one. I was very awake by this time.

Oh right, I forgot to mention. Baa-chan woke us up and summoned us to her office at five. The sun haven't even rose! Have I ever told you? Can't really remember. Anyway, I think Baa-chan lives in her office. What a scary thought.

Anyway, after we changed into the uniform, I drooled a little. Sasuke looked so… Oh shit, I'm drooling again.

Ahem, sorry about that. But Sasuke can really pull off the jounin look very well. Very very well. I'm suddenly glad that we had to wake so early. At least now I would be the only one to ever see Sasuke in a jounin uniform.

Or well, at least I'm the first. Since I have no doubt that he would be able to shoot straight to jounin rank after his probation period is over.

Coughs.

We left Konoha shortly. Since it was too early, we didn't have the chance to say goodbye to anyone. I hope my cactus doesn't die in those few days that I'm gone. It's been looking off lately. Sasuke says that I watered it too much but – bah! – what does he knows about plants.

Debated a little about lunch and we ended up eating at the accursed place with the lousy ramen. Yup, the one which I said caused my stomach unrest.

It was terrible. The taste, the texture, the broth and just about everything! Sasuke offered to swap our lunches and I know that he meant well. I mean, everyone knows about his dislike for ramen but he has been putting up with it for my sake. That much I know and I really appreciate it. Since I can't stomach his favourite tomatoes. At all.

The rest of day was a blur to me. I just know pain pain pain PAIN PAIN!

Really lucky that there was no enemy ninja when we were travelling, not that I would know with all the _pain_. Argh, I'm never eating foreign food on a mission again.

…what, you thought I would swear off ramen? Not a chance, not a chance.

We made camp at some random spot which Sasuke chose. By that time, I was barely holding the contents in my bowels in. Sasuke pushed me off in some direction and murmured something which I didn't catch. All I knew was that I needed to get moving!

It was a relief after I settled my… ahem, business. Much easier to breathe.

Of course I got too elated far too quickly. Damn. The quick movement I made in standing ruined my relief.

I think I stayed in that clearing for a few hours. Or well, it felt like a few hours. Lost track of time.

The place stank by the way. Must remember to warn Sasuke away from trekking through that area.

Oh right, guess what I saw when I made my way back to camp? Which by the way, I almost got lost since earlier Sasuke was the one who pushed me along a certain direction and I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings.

Sorry, got distracted. So guess what I saw?

Sasuke has a diary!

Hah! Now he can't make fun of me for having one. This is good blackmail material. Must find a way to get a hold of that diary. Maybe I can offer to hold his backpack for him? Hmmm, no, that's too suspicious.

I wonder how good am I at pick-pocketing? Watch out Sasuke! The great Uzumaki Naruto will get that book away from you! Some way or another, just watch me! And learn to fear! For I would never fail!

Oh wow, that rhymes. Cool.

Argh, my stomach hurts again. Would it be too fishy if I told Sasuke I needed to pee? Can't let him know that the ramen caused this. Knowing Sasuke, he'll probably come up with some ban and stopped me from eating anymore ramen. The horror!

By the way, Sasuke looked really peaceful writing in his diary. I'm glad that I'm the only one who saw that.

Well, at least, I hoped I am the only one.

Okay, really need to make up an excuse so that Sasuke would not wrongly accuse my precious ramen. Need to go and settle my… coughs, delicate business.

See you tomorrow, my dear diary. And I think I need to find a good place to hide you as well. It would not do if Sasuke discovers you. Way too much secret.


	7. Day Seven

Dear Diary,

Help me! What am I supposed to do?! I'm going to sleep in the same bed as Sasuke! Oh man oh man oh man. I'm so screwed!

Why the heck is there only one bed in this bloody room?! Do we look like a couple to the stupid innkeeper? Huh, do we?! We're both males! Normal civilians shouldn't have ideas about two males sleeping in the same bed right?

Naruto, you need to breathe. In, out, in, out.

Okay, I'm calm now.

…and, I just remembered. We are pretending to be an old couple. And like all old couples does, they sleep in the same bed! Oh crap, I can't believe I forgot about that. Please let me have acted like an old lady throughout the evening earlier, otherwise it would be my fault if someone sees through our disguises.

Damn Sasuke for wanting me to pretend to be the girl in the relationship. Grrr.

Er… are you lost? I think my rants are not making sense this time. Hmm, haha, okay okay, let me explain.

So it's like this, remember I told you yesterday about the mission that Baa-chan sent us on? Yeah, that one. Well, it turned out that she wanted us to collect some insider information or something, scooping for rumors and gossips. And here I was all for prowling the walls and everything.

Wonder why we need a jounin uniform when we are going to put Henges. Could it be that she thought someone would actually see through our jutsu? Nah, I don't think that she had that little faith in us, right?

Anyway, Sasuke chose for us to disguise ourselves as an old couple! And yet he refused to be the old woman when he suggested that. What a hypocrite.

Luckily I came up with a very good cover story since I know that Sasuke would probably 'hn'-ed his way through everything. Even the guards at the gate who were looking at us suspiciously got drawn into a conversation with me about good ramen ingredients! Am I the greatest or what? Heh.

You know, I have no idea why Iwa called Iwa. I mean for their name, there are barely any rocks or boulders near the Village. Even after crossing the border separating them from Kusa and walking all the way to their Village's entrance, there were hardly any rocks. More like pebbles. Why not call themselves the Village of Pebbles? Or is there already a Village with that name? Weird place and weird people.

Oh, I almost forgot. I think the innkeeper here is a pervert. Really! I'm not kidding. He was staring at my butt the whole time he led us to our room. And I had an old and wrinkly butt!

That sounded wrong. I meant that my disguise had an old and wrinkly bum. My own is very young and very fleshy. I have a very nice butt. And don't you ever forget that! Hah!

That sounded even more wrong. I sound like a pervert, talking about my own butt.

Ahem, moving on. Where was I?

Oh yes, dinner. I had ramen! Thanks for asking! It was pretty good actually, much better than the one yesterday. Then again, maybe this ramen takes a longer time to disagree with me. Well, let's see if I have the urge to run to the toilet later tonight.

And our dinner company was really bad. I mean, behind us were this bunch of Rock-nins. And are they stupid? Shouting out their Village's secret to anybody who would listen. Sasuke looked like he wanted to kill them for their stupidity. I had to remind him to loosen the grip on the forks he was holding. It would be bad if the fork gets twisted out of shape, then everyone would start wondering why that old man was so un-naturally strong.

Of course I think I might have failed in reminding him about his strength, seeing that one of the chef in the restaurant was talking to me at the same time. It was really hard trying to signal to Sasuke to loosen his grip on the fork.

Oh yes, we met the chef of the restaurant! I think he was about forty plus and obviously civilian. Very cheery and friendly guy. A marked difference from Sasuke indeed.

And he was very open about his Village too, telling us his opinions on the Iwa-nins, their gestures and some of the rumors regarding them. I hardly have to prod him to make him start talking.

I think Sasuke got bored halfway though. He kept looking around the kitchen, like he was searching for something. So I had to cover for him and speak with even more enthusiasm! What the hell, Sasuke is so irresponsible!

I really don't know what to think of Sasuke. I like him, that much I know, but he's such an irritating bastard!

Did you know that he woke me up late for my watch last night? And he dared to tease me about being a pig and able to sleep through a thunderstorm when he was the one who refused to wake me on time!

And then he keeps reaching out to support me as though I would trip and fall at any time. Not to say that I don't appreciate his hand on my elbow or waist, but it's the thought! Does he think of me as weak and needing help?! I'm not weak!

Then sometimes he's so warm and sometimes he's so cold. He would argue with me, tease me, laugh with me in one instant, then suddenly ignore and turned his nose up at me. I can't even make sense of what's going on his mind at times.

Argh, Sasuke is like a mystery. Or a swing. Maybe a swing, since his moods are like the swing. On and off, on and off, I feel like the fish being thrown bait and then being forced to watch the bait move away.

Oh well, after so many years with him, I think I kind of got used to his sudden changes in moods and behaviours. Is that a good thing?

Okay, never mind, that's not the main problem. The main problem now is that I'm going to share a bed with Sasuke!

Wait, what the heck. Why is it a problem?

Other than the fact that Sasuke is probably straight, I think this sharing of bed may actually improve my chance with him instead.

HMMMM!

Now I need to properly prepare myself. Maybe I could lean over in the middle of the night? Or roll over a little. Or I could huddle up with him?

Choices choices choices.

I have no idea why I thought this was bad. Thank you, my dear diary! For helping me sort out my messy thoughts!

Good night and wish me luck!


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